When was the last time you had an honest conversation with your partner about sex? Or about STDs? Brought up something new you want to try? Or something that isn’t working for you?
If it was recently, good for you! If it wasn’t, well, don’t worry you’re not alone.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Whether you’ll be spending it with a brand new partner or one you’ve known for years, PPNYC wants to help you make sure the relationship is as enjoyable and safe as possible. How do you do that? Conversation of course.
Our CEO Joan Malin has a great piece up atRH Reality Check and the Huffington Post on how to have difficult conversations, but we thought we’d pull the highlights out for you here:
- Educate yourself. Whether it’s an STI risk or something new you want to try, know as much about a topic before you bring it up.
- Do it with your clothes on. Although it might be tempting, don’t wait until you’re in the bedroom to bring up a tricky topic. Instead pick a comfortable place, before you’ve gotten hot and heavy.
- Break the ice. Telling your partner you’re nervous can be a great way to start. As can bringing up a recent study/statistic/story you’ve read or heard.
- Be upfront. Don’t beat around the bush or be dishonest.
- Use humor. Yes, this kind of talk can seem weighty or serious, but it’s ok to use humor to lighten the mood.
- Bring up good stuff first. Mention something you like or appreciate about your partner, before bringing up something you’d like them to do differently.
- Talk about protection, pleasure and problems. These open and honest talks aren’t just about the last time you got STD tested. You should be discussing what you like and don’t like, and what is and isn’t working for you.
Check out the whole piece over at Huffington Post. And feel free to share other tips on talking that have worked for you in the comments below.
